Life's like this...

Are you happy now?

Finally it happened...

I realised that life is not about anticipation of what is going to happen next, but rather, you ability in handling what has happened.

I tried... At first, I smiled upon knowing the news. I was thinking, 'yeah I saw it coming.. don't be silly for being sorry.' But after probing further, I realised that I'm just an extra character. My feelings weren't spared and thought of. Yeah.. No matter how much you try to explain, I just feel this feeling of being played around and feel... cheated.

Idealistically, I hope that things can be back to normal like the way it was. But can it really be that way? The problem is not just about what had just happened and main problem. The underlying problem is the matter of negligence and taking things for granted. Maybe you are not like what I've said. But I really can't feel feeling of appreciation or gratitude. Is it because you think I'll always be nice or because I'm nice to you due to some 'ulterior motive'?

Sigh... I know I shouldn't think too much. Really... My mind is going berserk. After every 'brain storming' session, I feel so tired and numb. And just I thought I'm okay, the terrible thoughts come creeping back. It's just a nightmare looping in my mind. All the numbness are just preludes to the next wave of emotion charged thoughts.

I don't wish to take it out on you. But right now, I'm just predominated by the anger suppressed for so long. I don't know what I'm doing will destroy the friendship or whatever that's left. I don't mean for anything negative. But I can't control it at the moment. I really can't... If there's anything you wanna do for me, it's just bearing all these nonsense till it last. You don't know the pain and torture...

If there's a day of regret later on, I hope it's not too late to salvage anything damaged.

It's a matter of time.

"Better In Time"
It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: X2]

Are you happy now?

0 Comments: